No, seriously. Who wears those things?? If you're reading my blog (and understanding the nuances in it) I'm assuming you are above the age of 9. Thus, above the age of short-shorts appropriateness.
Picture this: walking through the Prudential Center with the Lovely Miss L a few weeks ago, my eyes light upon a super-fun group of young girls twittering on as they tried on shoes too tall for their walking abilities. Grabbing handbags, sunglasses, bracelets, etc, as they tried on everything and bought nothing. You know, just being 17-years-old. But I digress. As I sat on the plush couch waiting for my fabulously frugal sister to try on a pair of shoes she'd had her eye on for a while, one of these women-in-training pranced her way into my direct line of sight. Under normal circumstances, I would have scoffed at her innocence and hoped she learned her lesson sooner rather than later. However, this moment was anything but normal.
This girl was wearing shorts so short and so tight, I'm pretty sure she had a photo session with Dov Charney later that day. I know more about this girl now than I do most of my lifelong friends. A floral replacement for boyshort underwear, she thought she'd covered her short on bottom-long on top requirements by wearing a sweatshirt instead of a tank top. She hadn't. As I stood up from my seat to school this child on the inappropriateness of making sure everyone knew she'd had a bikini wax, my wiser sister threw herself across the store in a slow-motion movie moment to firmly clasp her hand across my mouth so I couldn't inform said girl she had apparently forgotten her pants.
Since I wasn't allowed to tell her face-to-face, I will tell her (and all of you) here in hopes that someone knows this child and can forward my ever-so-subtle hint to PUT ON SOME PANTS.
I love shorts. I do. Summer is hot and humid and sticky and uncomfortable. Oh, and I don't have air conditioning in my car. So anything more than a slight piece of fabric on my legs is simply too much. That being said, there are so many good options out there, none of us need to be confused with the poor, unfortunate soul who left the house without her pants.
As an adult, the shortest inseam you can comfortably pull off is 3".
Lands' End Canvas
$39.50
H&M
$24.95
J.Crew Factory
$29.50
Victoria's Secret
3.5" - 9"inseams
$39.50
Flat jeweled sandals, colorful espadrilles, slouchy suede boots, low-top Converse sneakers, comfy flip-flops - they all look great with shorts. It all just depends on where you're going, what you're wearing on top and how much walking you have to do.
Feel free to print this post and hand out at your discretion. We'll change the world one pair of pants at a time.
